Today is a regular Sunday like any other to everyone, but to me it’s been a special Sunday. I’m 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant, which means I’m 4 days overdue. For most people it just means that they have to wait a little longer or that they will get induced.
In my case, in my first birth I had to go through a c-section (because Sam was breech and I was low on fluid). This time around, I’ve been planing, hoping, wishing and praying for a vaginal birth after c-section – VBAC. It’s not so simple. I only have 2 options: he will either come absolutely natural, with no inductions at all or it will be another c-section.
Induction is not an option according to my OB in whom I trust, because it could cause the contractions to be stronger than they would be if brought by my own body. And by being stronger, they could cause the previous incision to rupture. So we’re not gonna take this risk.
We woke up in the morning and went to church like every Sunday. It was a great service! Very encouraging!!! Then we came back home, played with Sam, did some getting-ready-for-Daniel’s-arrival organizing during the day, got Sam ready for bed and now I’m sitting on my couch waiting for a fabulous dessert my mom is making, which she hasn’t made in years, I would say.
Everyone in the house is acting normal and doing their own things: My mom went out for a walk, while the “Pudim de Leite” (brazilian flan) is baking in the oven, Deivid is down in the basement watching the 2016 Olympic Games, which are happening in Brazil this year, my aunt is getting ready to go to bed – yup, it’s 7:45pm and she’s going to bed! Sam is already sleeping, and I’m here. Sitting with my legs elevated to ease the swelling, while reflecting in this amazing Sunday. For them it seems like it will be an average night, but for me this could be it!!!
I can see the lack of faith in some people’s eyes, hear it in some others’ voices, that this baby will come earlier than my last day, when I turn 41 weeks. It’s not safe to go beyond that and I’m not taking the risk. But I believe that it’s possible that labor will come naturally for me.
Since yesterday I’ve been reflecting in this great thought God put in my mind and heart: I can have a “suddenly” moment in my life right now. You know when you’re reading the bible and it says “but suddenly” or “and suddenly” and it causes the whole situation to change? Yeah. I can have that moment happen before Wednesday, when the surgery is scheduled for.
I can feel some mild contractions, just like the ones I felt in my entire pregnancy. But I also feel my cervix opening up (I don’t even know if women can feel this happening, but I feel something going on down there). I can also feel a strong pressure in the bottom of my belly. All of that is great, but most importantly, I feel this great faith in my heart that it will happen. I have great friends, who I saw today at church and they fed this faith as they said they were praying and believing in it with me!
This whole vaginal birth thing might not mean a lot to many people, but it does to me. It is the way God designed our bodies to function, it is what it’s meant to do and I just wanna be able to experience it this way! There’s a bit of doubt in the back of my head if it will all happen. But if it doesn’t I’m ok too, because I want His will over mine. I want His plans over mine, His ways over mine, so I’m in peace!
Come, baby Daniel. Come! Just the way God sends you! I already love you so much!